7 Ways to Help Kids Develop Grit and Keep Trying

Last Updated: November 3, 2026

Table of Contents

• What Grit Means for Children (And Why It Matters)
• Model Perseverance: Show Your Child How You Keep Going
• Praise Effort and Process, Not Just Natural Talent
• Help Kids Reframe Mistakes as Learning Opportunities
• Use the Power of Yet to Build a Growth Mindset for Kids
• Try These Resilience Activities for Kids to Practice Persistence
  • Match the activity to your child's age
  • Measure progress without turning grit into pressure
• Know When to Step In: Productive Struggle vs. Excessive Stress
  • Read the signals before you read the behavior
  • The four-step response when your child wants to quit
  • When to step in, and when to step back
• Build Grit with Bravo Bear Stories and Everyday Practice
• Frequently Asked Questions

What Grit Means for Children (And Why It Matters)

Grit is the habit of sticking with something hard until you finish it.

Here's the part most parents miss: grit is not a personality trait a child either has or doesn't.

The American Psychological Association describes grit as passion plus perseverance toward long-term goals, and its psychology topic page on grit notes that it can grow with practice.

When you help kids develop grit, you're teaching them that struggle is normal. That lesson sticks with them for years.

For the bigger picture on raising resilient kids, our guide on building resilience in young children walks through the foundation skills that support grit.

Model Perseverance: Show Your Child How You Keep Going

Children copy what they see far more than what they hear. If you want a child who keeps going, let them watch you keep going.

Talk out loud when something is hard for you. Say, "This recipe isn't working. I'm going to try a different way." Then actually try again.

A common mistake is hiding all struggle from kids. They only see the finished result, so they assume everything comes easy to adults.

Try these simple habits:

• Fix something broken while your child watches
• Say "I'm frustrated, so I'm taking a break, then I'll try again"
• Share a small mistake you made and how you handled it
• Keep a hobby you're still learning, like an instrument or a sport

You don't need to be perfect. You need to be visible.

Praise Effort and Process, Not Just Natural Talent

Praise the work, not the gift. When you say "You worked hard on that," a child learns that effort is what counts.

Saying "You're so smart" feels good in the moment. But it can backfire. A child who hears that they're smart may avoid hard tasks, because failing would threaten the label.

Process praise is specific. It names what the child actually did.

Swap these phrases:

• "You're so smart" becomes "You kept trying even when it got tricky"
• "Good job" becomes "You planned that out before you started"
• "You're a natural" becomes "Your practice is really paying off"
• "That was easy for you" becomes "You didn't give up on the hard part"

Specific praise can help children notice that their own actions make a difference.

Help Kids Reframe Mistakes as Learning Opportunities

Mistakes are information, not verdicts. When a child spills, misses, or loses, the goal is to help them ask "What can I try next?" instead of "What's wrong with me?"

Try a simple three-question reset after any mistake:

1. What happened?
2. What did you learn?
3. What will you try next time?

Keep your tone calm. A child who fears your reaction will hide mistakes instead of learning from them.

For a child who is especially afraid of failing, our list of books to help kids overcome fear of failure gives you stories that make the lesson feel safe.

Use the Power of Yet to Build a Growth Mindset for Kids

The word "yet" changes everything. "I can't do this" becomes "I can't do this yet."

This small shift is the heart of a growth mindset for kids.

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck's work on growth mindset, summarized by the Mindset Works overview, shows that how children view their abilities shapes how they handle challenge.

Add "yet" to your own language too. Say "I haven't figured out this app yet" in front of your child. They'll start doing the same.

Watch for the fixed-mindset phrases and gently rephrase them:

• "I'm bad at math" becomes "I'm still learning math"
• "I can't ride a bike" becomes "I can't ride a bike yet"
• "I'll never get this" becomes "I haven't gotten this yet"

Try These Resilience Activities for Kids to Practice Persistence

Persistence is a muscle, and it needs reps. These resilience activities for kids give your child safe, low-stakes chances to struggle and succeed.

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Pick activities just past your child's comfort zone. Too easy and there's nothing to learn. Too hard and they shut down. Choose tasks that are hard enough to require more than one attempt, but not so hard that they need skills your child hasn't learned yet.

Match the activity to your child's age

Most activity lists treat a 3-year-old and a 13-year-old the same. They aren't. Here's how the same principle, manageable challenge plus a visible finish line, looks at different ages.

Toddlers (ages 2-3). Keep challenges physical and short. Stacking blocks until the tower falls and rebuilding, putting shaped pieces into a sorter, or carrying a light bag to the car.

For age-specific ideas, our guide on teaching resilience to 5-year-olds breaks activities down by what's realistic at that age.

Measure progress without turning grit into pressure

You can't grade grit, and you shouldn't try. Instead, watch for observable, low-pressure indicators that your child is building persistence:

• They try a new strategy after the first one fails, rather than repeating the same attempt.
• They come back to the task after a break or a bad mood.
• They ask for help instead of quitting, help-seeking is a persistence skill, not a failure.
• They name their own frustration ("I'm annoyed but I'm going to keep going").
• They finish something they started without being reminded.

Track these quietly. If you start commenting on them out loud every time, the measurement becomes the pressure.

Watch out: don't turn activities into a grit scoreboard, the moment your child senses they're being evaluated on perseverance, they'll start avoiding hard things to protect the rating.

Praise the process, not the win. The goal is reps, not trophies.

Know When to Step In: Productive Struggle vs. Excessive Stress

Not all struggle is good struggle. Your job is to tell the difference, then act. Most parenting advice stops at "let them struggle a little", which leaves you stranded in the moment your child is crying over homework at 8 p.m. This section gives you a working decision framework instead.

Read the signals before you read the behavior

Productive struggle looks like effort with forward motion. Your child is frustrated but still trying, still thinking, still engaged. Excessive stress looks different: tears that won't stop, shutting down, or a child who says "I'm stupid."

Use this quick check:

Signal	Productive Struggle	Excessive Stress
Body language	Leaning in, focused	Withdrawing, tense
Talk	"This is hard"	"I can't do anything"
Effort	Still trying	Gives up, shuts down
Recovery	Calms within minutes	Stays upset for a long time
Your move	Stay nearby, encourage	Step in, comfort, reset

Productive struggle is usually uncomfortable but recoverable. If your child can calm down and return to the task, the challenge is likely well-sized. If distress lingers or escalates, consider reducing the load.

The four-step response when your child wants to quit

When a child says "I want to quit," the instinct is to argue or to cave. Neither builds grit. Instead, run this sequence:

1. Name the feeling without judging it. "It sounds like this is really frustrating right now." Validation lowers the temperature so the thinking brain can come back online.
2. Separate the moment from the decision. Ask: "Is this a 'I want to quit today' feeling, or a 'I want to quit this activity' decision?" Most quitting talk is about today.
3. Set a short, honest trial. Agree on a defined window, finish this practice, this week, or this season, before revisiting the decision. A trial converts a power struggle into a plan.
4. Revisit on the agreed date. If your child still wants out after the trial, honor it. Perseverance that ignores a genuine mismatch isn't grit; it's obedience.

Sample language that keeps the door open: "You don't have to decide tonight. Let's finish the next two practices and talk again on Saturday. If you still want to stop then, we'll figure out how."

Watch out: if you make the trial so long that your child feels trapped, you teach them that their voice doesn't matter, keep trials short enough that a real exit is always visible.

When to step in, and when to step back

Step in when the task is beyond the child's current skill by more than one step, when safety is involved, or when the distress is about your reaction rather than the task.

When in doubt, offer support without taking over. Ask "Want a hint?" instead of grabbing the puzzle piece. A hint preserves ownership; a rescue removes it.

If your child is often deeply discouraged, our guide on helping your 5-year-old overcome fear of failure offers targeted steps. And remember: some kids need more scaffolding rather than more pressure. Grit looks different for every child.

Build Grit with Bravo Bear Stories and Everyday Practice

Stories can let a child watch a character struggle, fail, and try again from a safe distance. That's why Bravo Bear is an edu-tainment series about kindness, confidence, and courage.

Bravo Bear stories are filled with heart and fun and teach meaningful life lessons, including the value of kindness, confidence, and courage.

A few ways to use stories to build grit:

• Pause mid-story and ask "What would you do if you were them?"
• Point out a character's effort, not just their win
• Reread favorites so the lesson sinks in
• Talk about a time your child kept going, just like the character

For a wider shelf of options, browse our list of children's books that teach resilience skills.

Grit can grow through small, everyday moments, like a puzzle, a story, or a calm "try again."

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you teach a child to not give up when things get hard?

Start by acknowledging the difficulty without solving it for them. Say, 'This is tough, and you're sticking with it.' Break the task into smaller steps and celebrate each attempt. Use process praise like 'You tried three different ways' rather than 'You're so smart.' Let them experience manageable frustration with your calm presence nearby. Over time, they learn that struggle is normal and that they can handle it. Books and stories that show characters overcoming obstacles also reinforce this message.

What is the difference between grit and a growth mindset?

Grit is the sustained passion and perseverance toward long-term goals, while a growth mindset is the belief that abilities can be developed through effort and strategies. Growth mindset is the foundation that makes grit possible. A child who believes they can improve is more likely to keep trying when things get hard. You can build both by praising effort, teaching the power of yet, and modeling how you handle setbacks.

How can parents model grit for their children?

Let your child see you struggle and persevere. Talk through your own challenges: 'I made a mistake at work today, and I felt frustrated. I took a break, then tried a different approach.' Avoid hiding all difficulties. When you show that effort and problem-solving are normal parts of life, your child learns to do the same. Share age-appropriate stories of setbacks and how you kept going.

What role does failure play in developing grit?

Failure is a training ground for grit. When children experience small failures in a safe environment, they learn that mistakes are not the end. They develop coping skills and problem-solving strategies. Your job is to help them reflect: 'What worked? What didn't? What will you try next?' Avoid rescuing them from every frustration. Instead, treat failure as information, not a verdict. This builds resilience and self-confidence over time.

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Raising a child who keeps trying takes patience, and you don't have to do it alone. Bravo Bear offers stories built to inspire kindness, confidence, and courage, with memorable lessons your child will want to hear again and again. Explore the series and give your child characters who show them how to keep going. Get started with Bravo Bear and turn storytime into grit-building practice.